Earlier this week, I posted on Instagram that people should not declutter other people's stuff and every time I post this (or something similar) some people freak out.
And I get it. I do.
If you are working hard to declutter your home and someone says to you "Only focus on your stuff" and you look around and all you see is everyone else's clutter - it would be beyond frustrating.
This idea of not decluttering other people's stuff is not to punish you into a world of other people's clutter. It comes from an understanding that one of the basic things people want is to feel seen and heard. Therefore, their feelings about their stuff must be listened to and respected, just as your feelings and thoughts need to be listened to and respected.
So I have a way of handling decluttering with your kid - I can't remember where I learned this but this is what I did in my own home and it worked:
Decide how many items (toys, games, puzzles) you want to have out and easy to reach for each kid in your home. (ex stuffed animals = 10, lego bins = 1, puzzles = 5, etc). If you have multiple kids, you might need to make it a general number (ex 25 toys per kid) since their interests might not all be the same.*
Sit down with each kid and let them know what the number is. If you want, you can write it down somewhere so no one forgets.
Go through all of the toys and declutter. If you have multiple kids, give each one time with you alone to do this. I know that's not always easy but if you can do it, it will help reinforce them feeling seen and heard. Let your kid decide what to keep and what to let go of.
Then do another sort of everything that was kept. This time have them pick out which ones would stay out and which toys would go in a storage bin. The storage bin will need to be somewhere they can not easily access but you can.
Then you choose 1x a week or month the kid(s) get to switch toys out from their storage bin if they want to. The rule goes one toy out, one toy in.
The kids feel seen and heard, and you can feel like your home has a little less clutter.
*If you have family toys and games that aren't owned by one kid or have been passed down (on purpose or not) you can decide if it makes sense to have all of the kids declutter those specific toys as a group. And then also have them decide what to put away in a storage bin and what to keep out. This would be ideal, however, I know it is not always how things go.
I hope this helps you on your decluttering journey.
If you would rather spend your weekends living life and not sorting through your stuff, I've created a FREE download of the decluttering system I teach just for you. This will help you declutter in a simple, manageable, and achievable way. Click here to download it today
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