I was thinking the other day about how we "should" ourselves and what that actually feels like. When we are talking about our life and we insert should in the sentence, it feels tight. It feels as though there are no other options that could work for us.
When faced with a choice, pay attention to automatic options that come up. Is it a "should" statement? Do you feel like you don't have any other moves? Do you even like the option? Who said you "should" do it that way in the first place?
If we are truly honest with ourselves, a lot of our "shoulds" (possibly all of them) come from outside ourselves. But we hold on so tight to this idea that wasn't really ours or didn't exactly come from who we truly are.
What if instead of holding on tight to a should, we hold on to it with open hands? What if we allow for other ideas and options to come in?
Here's an example - I was looking at my career and thinking about where I should be and what I should be doing. It felt tight and uncomfortable. It also made me feel bad about myself because I wasn't where I thought I should be. But where did I get all those ideas from in the first place? Outside myself. I wasn't listening to my guidance. I was following what other people were doing and comparing myself to them. Not helpful. So I let go of the of what I thought I should do and decided to hold my career with open hands. How do I feel now, relaxed and excited to see what's to come?
What about you? Are there any thoughts of who you should be that you hold on to with a tight grip?
I hope this helps you on your journey.
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